Who will shelter me from the rain??

2009-06-12T16:26:00.002+08:00

oh my.. this is a VERY VERY belated update.

anyhoo.... i'm titter tattering on Stud to make myself sound busy.. haha. and sometimes Alt+Tab to read up FML. honestly we all need our little dose of schnadenfreude.

man... i'm so out of practice with this blogging thing. i seriously do not know what to write about... it's either i'm realising that i dont just want to digitally record my life online and take up HTML space or my life has been pretty stagnant with no events happening whatsoever. whoever is reading this, DONT ANSWER THIS QUESTION.

my dear Koh suwen has terminated her contract with singtel and is no longer strapped to her desk hence not being able to participate in our daily email-ing ritual.

and my jiang is taking his well-deserved nap from his horrible 6 hour duty.

so here I am, boring the crap out of the rest of you who are reading this entry. YEEHAR.

2008-12-04T01:24:00.002+08:00

A levels are finally over and so is prom. funny how i sort of equate those two events when obviously all the factors, like stress levels and emo incidences, are totally non equivalent. anyway, post-As have left me catching my breath just because it may have been my psychological drive to go out and make up for all the lost time that have been compromised during the later part of the year. it's been so fast paced that i cant even remember the days and resort to "the sequence of events". something that would make Poe even more emo since it's supposed to have been by a student who's studied his works. heehee. oh well... i shall just have to strike out being the poe toaster as another of my alternative careers.

2008-08-30T12:09:00.002+08:00

*screams* I'M ALIIVVVVVVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes! i've surfaced from my mountain of papers...and am here to CELEBRATE!!!! (for a few days). post-prelims have been quite fun, hanging out with frens, lazing around, watching non-stop anime and of course spending time with my boyfriend (AWWWW). HAHA

went to jurong point to celebrate jiang's birthday and i swear the jap food there is worth EVERY PENNY(DOLLAR). being east side ppl, it was seriously a first time experience venturing into jurong point la but we both agreed that the food there is AWESOME!

btw, i think hello dolly is gonna make a comeback. if everyone gets hooked on the wall.e show that is. haha..... YAY time to start updating accounts in light of recent events! :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!muacks

2008-08-07T22:57:00.000+08:00

it gets more difficult each day

2008-07-17T23:58:00.002+08:00

SEVENTEEN OF JULY!!

today was awesome and i would just like to really thank all those ppl who msged me and wished me happy birthdays and all. esp eeting, fad, cindy, san for the dress and all and especially the watermelon and my McMorning birthday 3 tiered pancake cake!! HAHA. and to ah cha and ah pao and veenapa for writing me post-its. AND MY NEW FOUND MIXED UP CRAZY FAMILY!!! *i play the retard kid btw*

BUT this day could not have been nearly so perfect without WJT. my ginger bread man. HAHA. esplanade is now my FAVOURITE lepak place apart from sky garden (which most probably is already occupied by KOH SUWEN) hahh. pictures might be uploaded soon. see how. heehee. anyway special thanks to koh suwen and daniel chong for being such awesome friends of ours and actually saving jiang from pre-mature ageing and maybe a possible nervous breakdown. haha. i also love wyntrice lim for being with me all these years and esp for buying me the brilliant blue Mosaic landyard from esplanade today. (talk about skizo... it totally freaked jiang out)

RIGHT ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-07-05T12:15:00.002+08:00

i like days when it's sunny but cooling
i like it when the wind blows a veil of hair that covers my face
i like thinking of things i like
but more recently
i like how your thumb draws swirls on my palm

i just don't like being hungry... like how i am now... T_T

2008-07-02T22:52:00.002+08:00

as i go to sleep, i smile knowing that i flood your mind and occupy your dreams.
we're so happy we can even touch moonbeams.
then as my mind slowly drifts off to the limitless realm of sleep,
i see u there at the check point, waiting to accompany me.
seems like u can occupy my dreams effortlessly...

SECOND DAY!!! XDD

2008-06-29T12:30:00.002+08:00

just yesterday i was so sure of it. so sure of my answer(if ever the question was to be asked). i was really excited and ready. and yet, the movement of events somehow will always leave you in a dilemma. similarly, that kati kati feeling came back to haunt me. i hate it, i really do. i hate the way it leaves me with so many unanswered questions, i hate the way it screws up my mood and i hate the fact that it'll always be there, that shitty nagging feeling. i hate insecurities.

2008-06-18T22:43:00.002+08:00

Roxanne-the female manifestation of man's eternal downfall to the all encompassing yet unknowingly inherent force of human nature - JEALOUSY

First there is desire
Then... passion!
Then... suspicion!
Jealosy! Anger! Betrayel!
Where love is for the highest bidder,
There can be no trust.
Without trust,
There is no love!
Jealosy.
Yes, jealosy...
Will drive you...
Will drive you...
Will drive you...
Mad!

Roxanne, you don't have to put on that red light
Walk the streets for money
You don't care if it's wrong or if it is right.

Roxanne, you don't have to wear that dress tonight.
Roxanne, you don't have to sell your body to the night.

Christian:
His eyes upon your face
His hand upon your hand
His lips caress your skin

Its more than I can stand

2008-06-07T22:00:00.002+08:00

finally got to satisfy my char kuay tiao cravings. seriously, i'm not a big fan of char kuay tiao but the one in the airport staff canteen totally changes my mind. IT'S SERIOUSLY THAT GOOD.

was gonna blog about my day today then i decided against.

i seriously think people should be more pro-active with their lives. if something's wrong, go check it out. dont just wait around and not care then give some lame ass excuse that makes you sound so self-righteous. honestly, learn to love yourself first before trying to care about others, even your family. for crying out loud, grow some hair on those peaches. yes, i'm peeved, cos i realised all that worrying was for nothing. bendelshnitz

2008-06-06T01:01:00.002+08:00

dare i back out of this now? back out of what i thought i always wanted? the words my brother said keeps on going round and round in my head and i honestly truly dont wanna hurt it but would it be best for all of us?and you're not exactly being assuring.... "my best friends wedding" and "made of honour" both have the 2 different outcomes...how will it play out then?

2008-06-01T22:27:00.002+08:00

if it was all pre-meditated, i would feel really hurt. even if there was a plausible reason behind it. like how i felt when i realised the core reason behind all that confusion. it was hurt but not hurt. more of something sensibility could not override and persuade.

dare i ignore this constant nibbling feeling? it's growing.

2008-06-01T01:15:00.004+08:00

YAY today was FUN. tho it ended with me getting super worried...actually i still am.

went to school to help jiang decide and reassure him on how he looked. then headed for the mentoring thing which was quite interesting and eye-opening too. rushed home in the rain to get ready cos it was like 5 already..

met jiang at kembagan(where he was waiting for quite a while le..heee)then we headed to cityhall. realised that pinle's cheese pancake isnt as good as the mr bean one. and we both agreed that old chang kee is KING!!!! haha. walked to VCH and we were quite awed by the supreme court's HUGE TOWERING pillars. met wenjie on the way there(2nd time today already) later met up with jiang's classmates. and eadeline is damn funny la! sat with her and joseph... random right? anyway she's like the only girl i know who'd walk around vch barefoot covered in plasters. haha.

spotted u from among all the instruments. many words that were msn personal message worthy formed in my mind and i ended up with this. you play the keys and beat of my soul...ahhhhh and i tell u... nelson tan was serious when he said sway was encore piece cos it ROCKED!!! the dancing and all as well. and i personally like band concerts. ther's something very grand bout the music that overwhelms u and grips your heart until u feel like one more breath n you'd might just burst. OKAY.

after it ended, we walked around esplanade and i still LURRVE the roof terrace esp when i can see the flyer lit up. :D then went to marina subway cos unfortunately it was super late like 9-10 plus. after that walked around the inside and outside of suntec cos we couldnt find the busstop esp since evrything was closed and unfamiliar. haha. yea surprisingly bus14 came quite fast n he was helping me with "FUTURE PROBLEM SOLVING" with a cup n straw analogy. heh which got him giddy and scared the crap out of me la!!! his heart started to murmur and it was acting up again since the band concert. then as we were walking back, it looked like it was getting worse. rah. to tell u how late i was, i reached home at like 12 plus la!! but luckily my parents didnt say anything.

yea... so now i'm at home and my heater's screwed... have been bathing in freezing cold water for the past 2 days. something in my brain tells me i should get it fixed.but my body is saying "ahhh, later la" hheeee. so on the whole today was quite fun. :) still cant stop worrying tho.

2008-05-31T00:29:00.002+08:00

bila bahagia mulai menyentuh
i was certain but now i'm not. i'm afraid, really i am. that things might just return to the past and the laughter doesnt belong to ours but yours. that's why i'm caught up in this internal paradox where i fight for what i think would make u happy and then regret it because it doesnt make me happy. i become uncertain and scared. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

then again it might just be divine intervention. of what purpose i have no idea. they supposedly choose who we're suppoesd to be with huh. i can somehow imagine how life was in the past without you...and i know i can live... but i just dont want to.

what i perceived was right. for the few times i wish i wasnt.
terkisah ku di antara cinta yang rumit

2008-05-25T00:07:00.002+08:00

they say you learn new stuff about yourself everyday, well i learnt TWO things about myself today.
1) i'm the queen of jiao facial expressions
2) i'm the epitome of unglam-ness
OH WELL!!

went to meet up with oli to just meet up. helped her with the OM stuff and ate some REALLY authentic briyani rice... with our HANDS cos the person forgot to put the utencils into the bag. rah. and i learnt that coke helps to get rid of certain smells on your hands. cool huh!

met up with jiang later on cos he was nice enough to accompany me to watch the water thing at boat quay which i got scammed yday cos nia, ros n i were 1hr late. today, i was SCAMMED AGAIN! PISSED LA. followed the timing on the brochure (which said 8) but somehow IT WASNT AT 8. OR 9. OR 10. ya. but ended up eating some REEEEALLY COOL ICE CREAM. mangooo flavour.. mmmm mmmm. haha jiewei scared me on the train. suddenly some random guy(or so i thought) comes up to me and goes "miss, you're blocking the sign". WAH LAO. scarry shizzz. poor jiang was ko-ing in the train already... ooops. sorry but so much for the motivational talk. haha

dont wanna get scammed anymore.

2008-05-23T23:14:00.008+08:00

MAX BRENNER rawkss!!! esp when you're out with your GIRRRLFRIENDS!!! *blond moment*

finally our long deserved MaxBrenner's chocolate dream has materialised. went to esplanade with nia and ros joined us soon after. we had a LONNNG time deciding what to order then finally decided on a FONDUE we all would share and indv chocolate drinks for ourselves. HEAVEN. just ask nia or ros how happy i was just being there. no, i wasnt happy, i was incandescent with euphoria. yes. after that we headed down to boat quay to watch the opening ceremony of the Singapore Arts Festival....unfortunately, it started one hour early. so we explored central andwent home after that. AWESOME NIGHT!!!!!

BEFORE AND AFTER

nia and ros obviosly very happy with the hot chocolates as well

and the girl who rediscovered the wonderful "C" word - CHOCOLATE.

2008-05-20T23:05:00.002+08:00

i'm super tired now cos i've been chionging maths since 4. k, it's not as impressive as it sounds but seriously, it has mangled my brain so much so that i find the word "mangle" positively BLOODY.

to preserve my brain juice (or what's left of it) and to save you readers from a very horrible and random post, i shall just stick to recounting my day... especially the devirginalization of wyntrice's polyclinic experience.

my reason for skipping e-programme was rather justified - i had to go for math tuition. anyway, met jiang and his classmate daniel chong(what a concerted effort one has to make when one knows ppl with the same names) at the side gate. so the tamp one was a BUILDING by itself, but the shitty que for REGISTRATION was horribly long so we decided to head down to the bedok one instead. it was either the effects of the clinic or the fact that we sat in front of a high-powered fan in an aircon room just after being grilled in the sun but we were feeling rather pukish and migrain-ish. not a bad start to the doc's trip. heh. to while away the time, we merepek as usual and i tried styling his hair. hmm *NOTE TO SELF*, if you cant even style your own hair, doubt you should try styling others... esp when they're not even of the same gender. SO. -side thought over-. with his heart murmuring away, he got out of the appointment pretty quickly while i had to wait there hearing the doc give me a lecture on healthy lifestyle. haha. but surprisingly the medicine cost super cheap!!! $1.55 for a bottle of something with white gunk inside AND pills. that's just cool...esp when you compare it to sicko. YEA. all in all, was quite surprised that it didnt take as long as i thought it was going to be. cooool...

FISH + SOUP = NICEEEEE.....(AND HEALTHY) unlike SOMEONE's duck rice.. XD

right i'm zoneing off...esp since i pia-ed poe last night and only slept at 1.30. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2008-05-18T00:23:00.001+08:00

shall i or shall i not update today?

haha WONT la. but for the future WJT, 3 bus 12 passed while i was waiting ALONE. hahahaha didnt think you'd get away with it THAT EASILY NOW HUH! XD

2008-05-06T22:51:00.000+08:00

Take time to realize,
That your warmth is. Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.

But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
And will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other now.

Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
Didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by.. Didn't I tell you

But I can't spell it out for you,
No its never gonna be that simple
No I can't spell it out for you.

If you just realized what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other
Then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other now.

It's not always the same
No it's never the same
If you don't feel it to.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

If you just realized what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other
Then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder
Just realized what I just realized

OoOoOOo

Missed out on each other now
Missed out on each other now

2008-05-04T22:33:00.002+08:00

ahhhh. what a weekend. all i can say is that what has plagued me these days has not come to a closure. it's a risk but i've got to test out certain "implementations" during the school weeks to see how i should come about them.

after all that atas bullshit, i'm gonna say that i hated this weekend. felt alone, isolated, disconnected, small, insignificant and not very special. i even sustained a bruised knee. apart from all these, it still ended BETTER. yes.

my brother noticed how sullen i was on friday and even more when i continued to mope around the house. he started to sing to an old german folk song and did a lil jingle. my other brother tried doing a dance move which was super funny la. laughed like siao after that and wasnt that emo... cried to jiang over the phone (surprising esp seeing how much tears i've already poured out of my eyes this whole 3 days) and though i had to rush off for dinner, it was a n(*tsk)aww-ish convo. earlier in the day when i was still full-swing emo, talked to randolph for abit on msn. bed of thorns eh.

SO WHATEVER. shitty weekend. URG. ^$&#**$@&$**

P.S. 80% of guys HATE IT when girls curse and swear. so NEW RESOLUTION FOR ME!!! STOP CURSING. STOP SWEARING.

2008-05-04T00:48:00.003+08:00

yesterday was the beginning of a really horrid weekend ahead. it was such a pivitol moment that i realised how drained i am of just being some random person in your phone list. it held no purpose cept for practicality and there was no special meaning to it. u didnt even reply me or talk to me. that cord i feel has been plucked and thrown away. we've lost that connection i thought we once had. i'm not special to u or to anyone for that matter.. esp and your obviously still so enamoured by her. dont know what i was thinking. just another name in your msn list that you dont talk to anymore.(which hurts even more when i recall all the times you'd initiate the convo.) everything's changing so much. even though i've cried so much, i still find the capacity to cry somemore. obstacles are supposed to make you feel stronger but somehow it doesnt work for me. i just get weaker and more isolated. tonight especially, though i was connected with so many ppl via modern conveniences, i've never felt so alone. so alone from u and u and u and u and u.

2008-05-01T23:34:00.001+08:00

i seriously donnoe whether to laugh or cry.

green tea + mints = BAD COMBINATION

2008-04-27T19:04:00.005+08:00

if you knew the exact time and day that the world would come to an end, who'd you want to be with knowing that it's your last chance to see them?

eliminate all the political correct answers/person(s) you think you should think of because nothing counts than the 1st person that came into your mind when you read those first few lines. :)

no matter what i tell myself, i think i'm slowly coming under your spell.
doubt you'll remember my green tea.

2008-04-26T02:15:00.004+08:00

today was another whirlwind of emotions and events. apart from what happened at Tmart(which i experienced polar opposites of the emotions spectrum), everything was rather okay after that. esp after i sucked up my pride, haha - no la! - actually after i weighed down several issues at hand. ANYWAY, it was damn funny la! awkward. actually i think it was awkward for me because i've got intimacy issues. honestly there's something wrong with me. it was quite a simple action, just a hand over the shoulder then i wriggled away. haha. ya la, i've got intimacy issues la. chey. jean was right?ahahahaa.

went to sot, fad came after the match. we were both super hungry la then when she asked us what was a very impt lit word that started with HU____, we immediately whispered HUNGER. haha. had money problems and we didnt know what to eat then i realised i had a spare $50. seriously, super heng. haha. then we over ordered. -.- talked alot and seriously felt like an episode from "the hills" la. haha. went home alone and my inexperienced boyfriend for a day was nice enough to pei wo(on the phone) all the way back to kembagan. haha.

prefer walking? of course.

I REALLY WOULD LIKE GREEN TEA ON MONDAY (IF U REMEMBER, WHICH I REALLY HOPE U DO)

2008-04-24T23:24:00.002+08:00

today was so-so. neck cramped up while i was sleeping. kindda know most of the 22nd guys' shoulders' softness. haha. wenjie's and daniel's ones are nice. not too pointy, just nice. alwyn's one the worst. ANYWAY.

walked home in the drizzle today from maths and kept listening to happy songs; baby love, follow through, angel, wont go home, tisbury lane. feel quite happy, almost like injecting happiness into my bloodstream. everytime i wanna click on your name, i remind myself that you are enjoying her company and i move the curser away. that lil poem i wrote in my brown book REALLY HELPED. :)

2008-04-24T00:03:00.002+08:00

i waited for the phonecall that never came.

too many memories flashed through my mind during the course of today and some i dont really wanna recount. but behind the facade of being excited and amused lay a dam of "if onlys" and "could've beens".

why do i get the feeling things wont turn out the way i hope they do?

2008-04-22T21:57:00.003+08:00

do you really care about what happened? 'cause u dont really seem like you do. ANYWAY. yea. today was a lil bit better than yday but i still had to walk away. honestly, she's ALWAYS picking for a fight, it's SOOOOO frustrating. urg. time to draw the line and move away from the group for a lil bit cos it really aint helping me esp when i get so emotionally drained just by trying to tahan her. or him for that matter.

I'VE GOTTA LEARN TO SHARE YOU

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe;
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I water'd it in fears,
Night & morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with my smiles
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright;
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole
When the night had veil'd the pole:
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretch'd beneath the tree

2008-04-22T00:40:00.003+08:00

i guess i used up my happiness quota too fast today. ended with me crying for the most simple things so much so that it brinked on the edge of childishness. for the 3rd time, i'm wrote a msg that will never be sent. tearing at the 201 busstop and was glad(how ironic) that bus 12 was rather empty. as i walked to the busstop, i honestly wished someone would come after me and ask me how i was. not just through some device of modern convinience. but i had to walk that stretch or road alone and sulk in my misery. what glamness and maturity. anyway, got home and FINALLY got my green tea(AND it's $1.10 at cold storage for each which tells me that i dont have to rely on others anymore because i can just find an alternative for myself, on my own). bought 2, was contemplating the 1.5l one then reasoned otherwise. went home. ate a salad. puked most of it out. what's the point of pretending to be sticking around then just disappear? honestly, next time when i want to get something, i'll just help myself and not consult you. u dont care what.

u.dont.even.hear.me.
i just wished i was more noticable to you. and not have to do SUCH a thing.

anyway, msged randolf and emo-ed with him. then felt selfish and didnt wanna plague him further with my emo-ness. though we truely are similar. his life is a bed of roses without petals but thorns and mine is a bed of nails. just awesome.

2008-04-20T22:25:00.002+08:00

songfest ended, yes the last event of the 22nd tpjc council. it sucked that we ended so late and couldnt take a final picture. :( oh well, there's always the investiture rehearsals that'll drag to donnoe what time.

had a super fun time being in the logistics team, the backstage crew, a student judge AND the decor team all in one event. awesome-ness. fad and eeting came over for the econs tuition today and i feel smart for once. still had to go for the evening econs thing and i finished my maths assignment n read some gp article. was msging astrid all the way also...I'M GRATEFUL TO HER LA! and it's super amusing when our convos turn into scripts of the hills. yea...

justin bobby, when are you gonna ask audrina out?

2008-04-17T01:05:00.002+08:00

i dont care that much then you complain, then when i care a bit more, you back off... i dont know what you're getting at. seriously. right now, i'm just hope you know that i choose to be here, in this circle where you part of it. and it's scary that there might be someone else who's coming into this circle of mine. i'm not ready for you to be out of it because i dont want you to. i'll be standing here, in this stone scratched circle, waiting for you to not only want to be part of it but the entirety. arhhh dont make sense.

never knew you felt it too. but i'm really glad you do.

2008-04-13T23:33:00.002+08:00

i think something i've been dreading has already started to happen. those times at the airport will only be a memory now and not something to look forward to in the future. what she says is true, it's breaking apart. it might not be for the few of you but it is for me. i might've acted like it didnt matter, like i was so sure it wasnt going to happen. but i'm now the one that's left on the bus, going home or in the car, staring from the side mirror of what i cannot be part of. i guess you felt it too... seeing how reluctant you were when i was asking you bout it and since you dont wanna do anything about it, i doubt if it can ever be the same again.

i miss the past and fear the future and struggle through the present.

2008-04-08T23:08:00.002+08:00

ouch... those last few words were damn hurtingla... like you didnt even want to talk to me. i shan't care anymore la. you can go and chase that dream girl of yours who'll forever gross you out and piss you off..... just dont expect me to do the same. ppl might call me superficial and shallow but all i'm being is practical. i'm trying to love myself. i shouldnt give you anymore consolations for it will hurt me in the end. if you call me unreasonable, it's just based on the established roles you've set up. constantly giving me that title.... I GET IT ALREADY.

2008-03-31T23:32:00.002+08:00

school is really your second home because when shit happens at home or anywhere else, the school is the best santuary. for now i'm thankful for tml's 5-6.30 extra gp lecture and i'm thankful for council meeting and gp tuition on wed until 9 and i'm thankful for thursday when i go for math and take that 30min walk home alone. it may sound angsty but when all you receive is a cold glare and all the piled up tension between them is vented on you at home, you just want to have every excuse to stay far far away. it really sucks being the youngest. no doubt you get doted on superficially by most of the family but whatever the parents failed to educate or instill in the other siblings, you are automatically made the dumping ground. i do agree that sometimes these values are indeed good and for the best of my interest for my character building process but sometimes being used and having others living vicariously through you makes you feel empty.

decided to watch the honey mtv of "i believe" in my bid to be hopeful and not think of all the unintentional unhappiness i caused everyone. since i screw up my life so much(and others, come to think of it) i see why now you guys try your utmost to control it.

2008-03-14T22:50:00.001+08:00

this evening was very entertaining.
let's just put it into an equation. (because we all just ADORE math)
suwen+slipper+running+bus=FARNIE. (the peiyee way)

2008-03-13T23:25:00.002+08:00

fine, my head is drooped and my tail between my hind legs(if it makes a difference). it was all a misunderstanding, yes, but i still cant treat her as benignly as before. then again, i also said all those things in my previous entry that kindda got thrown out of the window after today. *sheepish look* -side thought- sheep must really be pissed off to be associated with being "sheepish". i wonder how the originator made the comparison. hmmm -side thought-

was looking through some pictures of pre-u sem and videos especially and i'm feeling sad. i miss pre-u sem and all my frens. :( i really doubt that we'll ever be able to go out as a whole group in the future. that's damn sad la. urg....

noticed something beautiful today. shared it with someone. it's a beautiful feeling.

2008-03-13T00:29:00.002+08:00

honestly, you fked up attitude is REALLY PISSING ME OFF. FINE, you wanna stick to some girl who treats you like shit? FINE. you dont want to feel appreciated? FINE. you wanna be talked down and humiliated in public? FINE. you dont want someone to care about you? FINE. just dont vent it out on me. dont try and reverse this treatment on me. dont expect me to take this shit as easy as you do from her. i'm seriously done trying to show you she treats you like shit, i'm done concerning over you, i'm done waiting for you to show that you appreciate me. i'm done reading that 4 page sms. go screw yourself. crap la, donnoe how i'm gonna face you calmly without the temptation to sock you in the face or just yell at you. and to think that you were...arh NEVER MIND...not like i should plague my mind with what i thought you to be.

Why should i care.

P.S. it aint a question.

2008-03-10T23:10:00.001+08:00

i'm doing it again.

Was there something more I could have done?
Or was I not meant to be the one?
Where's the life I thought we would share?
And should I care?

Should I leave you alone here in the dark?
Holding my broken heart
While a promise still hangs in the air
Why should I care?

2008-03-07T13:00:00.002+08:00

i'm FINALLY BLOGGIN!!!! only because i'm using wey jiang's lappy in the council room. econs SA just ended and it's fked up la. i pia-ed the whole of yday for nothing sia, tamade. now lying on the council sofa in a very unglam way...hope i dont zao geng. but then again, only gege/didi is in the room. but really, i TOTALLY blanked during econs la. after this i honestly dont wanna go through it again. tamade. later still got to take back chinese As result. whatever. ruiping and mark chan just came in so i also just got up and became more "shu nu". wth la. just now do the prom thing until damn gong diao.

2008-03-02T02:16:00.000+08:00

I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream.

2008-02-26T23:06:00.002+08:00

i'm a walking emotional crap bag. everything was building up and it had to be you to pull off something like that. just one small issue can create the ripples. i honestly dont want to be pissed at you but then in my emotional state, i keep replaying what you did AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.

i dont wanna cry. i dont wanna swear. i dont wanna.....

2008-02-25T22:44:00.002+08:00

i HATTEEEEEEEEEE everything nowwwww

ever since bloody orientation night, i've become so vulgar that everyone knows. tamade. there's so much catching up and so much homework not done yet and i'm still here penting out my frustrations. arh fuck la. somehow, it has lost it's meaning to me. i wish i wasnt like this, i wish i dont have to rush homework. i wish i wish i wish. cheebai la. wed still have to meet that biatch. tamade shit sia. TAMADE TAMADE TAMADE!!!!!!!

i seriously have no bloody idea how BLIND guys can get. she obviously takes advantage of you and DOES NOT have a nice personality WHATSOEVER. and yet you raging hormonal lump of stupidity still lap up whatever she says. defend her somemore. side her and tell me off. buck you fitch.

2008-02-15T00:14:00.002+08:00

my super rockafied valentines day.

though i slept at 3(an improvement from last year) and that my fingers smelt of balloon plastic and were super swollen, it was all worth it. in the end went for my lit test(after much indecisiveness) and wey jiang is a SUPER DUPER WONDERFUL guy cos he waited for me(almost 2 hours) to finish my lit test then accompanied me to the airport to meet COT.

reasons for my rockafied valentines day:

1) helium balloons rock when they're all tied to a chair. (and you sit on the chair and look up)
2) my dear wen got me a SUPER YELLOW sunflower(which is bald now) but i <3 the note!
3) the adventures of balloon boy and mortal girl
4) huge bunch of balloons in the wind
5) presents presents PRESENTS!!
6) giving out your own presents and seeing your friends face light up with joy
7) my angel's HUGE milk bottle
8) dove amicelli!!!!!
9) san slipping me his bnw bk during lit test cos i forgot to bring my own (:
10) my very first banana-flavoured condom (thanks to none other than ziq)
11) slacking outside council room and lepak-ing with council mates
12) ALVIN TAN XIAO PANG!!!
13) seeing A06 trying to study for lit at cafe but no one really cared in the end
14) council room at 7 in the evening
15) AIRPORT!!!
16) BREEKS! and their black-red U-shaped seats
17) mine and sean foo's mash potato(just let it sit on your tongue and close your eyes)
18) lester's towering cioccolato
19) T3!!!!!!!!
20) Circle of Trust

yes... my rockafied v-day in 20 numericals. it rocks it rocks it rocks!!!! i love everyone who made my day as it is. and i dont think anyone really pissed me off today!!! esp melody's online message!! haha yes i blow good balloons!!!! XD

can't wait for cot to go back to breeks! for the MASSIVE ATTACK!!!! ^_^ and yes, it's been confirmed, i make rockafied v-day presents.

2008-01-24T22:31:00.000+08:00

NEVER IRON YOUR UNIFORM WHEN YOU'RE IN A GROGGY STATE esp when it's 2am in the morning. you'll never know where the iron may land.

my braces were a bitch to me today. damn painful la which didnt help my mood. at least Mel, cx and i went to the extension to ~~lust~~ hua chi over our different eye candy. intouchables.

had a depressing talk with none other than myself. realised that you'd have to be small sized, thin, cute, pretty, small feet, thin fingers, toned legs, flat stomach, long hair, totally and utterly devoted et cetera, et cetera. i might not be 24/7 concious about it but i'm sure i am this way for a reason. AND SHOULD BE PROUD OF IT! whoohoo!

i LOVE the idea of oxymorons.
*note that it doesnt consist of any morons in actual fact.

2008-01-21T21:53:00.000+08:00

just too many things happened today.

breakups, new infactuations, old feelings and a loss. ALL IN ONE DAY.

you came so close, it was as if nothing between us had happened and everything got rewound back to that sunday. i saw your genuinely concerned face. i wanted to reach out and hug you. to bury my face and cry in your arms. but no. it wasnt that sunday. or that monday. or that tuesday. or that wednesday and definitely not that thursday. i avert just in time before reality reminds me that it isnt April anymore. the two silhouettes arent yours and mine.

the sterile corridors. the whizz of the machinery. it's like brave new world without the conditioning. we are affected by loss. seeing you motionless on the bed. your father to one side pouring his heart out. it really was too much. we cry because we know we're gonna miss you and that this is just all too sudden. life's never fair but in your case, it was a crime. it was a crime for this to happen to your family and to you. you will always be in our prayers. i really cant think of anything to say that wont sound cliched.

to the rest trying to cope with the harsh realities, it's better now for him than suffering from all the pain. all we can do is to pray for his family and for his soul. god take him to shelter.

2008-01-20T00:39:00.000+08:00

i simply love lee kong chian reference library. has the most number of china books there are. met fad and tingting there just to check it out. at bugis, tingting and i were like "OH NO!!!" at all the food we saw... >.< then on the way played who-you-wouldnt-wanna-meet. damn funny la.

how do you choose 1 from the 20 different flavours when you cant even decide 1 out of 6??!! ohs nos!!

rushed to holland v for weng gor's ROM. super nice la. merilyn was super pretty la!! loved her dress...and weng gor just looked out of his comfort zone without his bermudas, polo shirt and sandals. XD then he went around kissing all the guys(on the CHEEK) then made anna and i kiss him for the camera. super funny la.

yay!!! got my very first skinnies!! and YES THANKS TO ANNA FOR BEING THE INSPIRATION (she made me say it) hahaaha. but it's like i've finally got it! UNFORTUNATELY, i can only wear it during CNY. rats. honestly, CNY is like x.mas la. must wait then can wear the specially bought CNY clothes. boohoo.

tired and super thankful that gissy has done the FnN proposal.

MUGGING TOMORROW!!! (weird that i sound so happy)

2008-01-14T01:29:00.000+08:00

another weekend is over and RATS. shouldn't have taken that many breaks in between.

yay my mummy has increased my pocket money!! $1o richer yo!!!! woots! XDDDD
see how much $10 can make me feel so much happier?

rememburary is a dumb word. seriously, hot lingo?!

2008-01-13T00:16:00.000+08:00

what do you get when you combine rock music, fighting, hot guys and magic powers? you get a fricking cool action sequence from the covenant. super nice show. just that you'd wish they'd not use so much cgi.

today wouldnt have turned out so bad if it werent for some people who just pissed me off. do you always have to diss me when we all meet? honestly. you might not be aware but ya you say things that hurt. if it were just random simple teasing i wouldnt mind. but its especially in company that you just act so wth la. forget it, by wed i would've been too caught up in school to actually rmb.

wasnt any better when i got home. people just seem to have to have a need to piss me off today. bloody hell.

so much for doing a good deed today.

2008-01-12T01:24:00.000+08:00

ORIENTATIONORIENTATIONORIENTATIONORIENTATIONORIENTATION
ORIENTATIONORIENTATIONORIENTATIONORIENTATIONORIENTATION
ORIENTATIONORIENTATIONORIENTATIONORIENTATIONORIENTATION
ORIENTATIONORIENTATIONORIENTATIONORIENTATIONORIENTATION

that's all the things that've been occupying my mind. honestly. it's like a drug. nothing else happens in my mind cept orientation. dry games wet games icebreakers choir auditions mass dance amazing race og night ogl camp friendship week valentines day flowers songs gifts then CMC. i'm about to go crazy.

can't wait for monday when zizie and i work on the mass dance. seriously, it's only a few more weeks away. not to mention that we've gotta teach the WHOLE council before OGL camp which is just too soon. oh so help me.

2008-01-09T23:06:00.000+08:00

classes were sucky (as usual) esp since today was 6 straight periods of unsmileys.
thanks to nia who actually showed SOMEONE cared about me, thanks to sayang who tagged bout spirals, thanks to jianster, nicster and malay for lepak-ing while decorating the council board and thanks to jasmine who gave that "awwwwww" statement as well. XDDD what would life be w/o you guys.

met wen today for our FIRST gp tuition. went to subway to eat lunch and mug. no thanks to subway for crappy disformed bread. GP was super fun la. actually annotated while the tcher was talking, laughed at the cheehong and rather AA rj guy, liked the super friendly sr girl, was simply wowed by the super gp tutor and had fun merepeking with wen as if we were in cchm again.

after gp, went to get our mochi and continued biatching bout the xjc girl as well as the crazy cat woman ah lian. XDD

P.S. your from a top school and the wittiest thing you can say is "fish"?! so overrated.

2008-01-06T01:28:00.001+08:00

i just found out something that i don't know whether i wanted to know or not. from here, everything else is uncertain. however, i know that right now, i want to go on the spinning thing and see the world fly past me. and not come down no matter who says what.

~~kimi dake wo~~
watashi dake wo

2008-01-05T13:39:00.000+08:00

omg, the only thing that i can say bout my official first day of school is that i'm just glad it's the weekend.

last night was F.U.N. went home to meet wen first then headed back to tampines to meet "circle of trust". i tell you, those ppl in royal sporting house must've been super pissed with us la. sheeting mistook seanie for me and did something VERY off. then laughed sooo hard she toppled all the nike bottles. HILAROUS! then seanie spent the whole night telling sheeting to stop harassing him and to not molest him again while sheeting spent the whole night clutching onto my arm and defending herself that she never would want to do such a thing. the spinning thing in the roof terrace was a mistake. getting on the SECOND time was an even BIGGER MISTAKE. after almost an hour after the spinning fiasco, i got into my mum's car and throughout the journey from tampines to siglap, i honestly felt like throwing up.

the spinning thing is seriously very unromantic. imagine you're on the spinning thing with your boyfriend. the whole world spins around you and all you see is his face. then when everything stops, you puke. HOW ROMANTIC.

2008-01-03T22:27:00.000+08:00

O1 is over and it's time to get back to studies. rah. omg, OG21 was SUPER nice la!!! they're soooooo sweet!! they were all very enthu during the telematches and they cheered and they even cheered for me AT THE END!!!! whao!! super fun! and ya for a pretty boring orientation, they took it very well. :)

now back to thinking of my cse IS topic as well as my NEW gp essay. back to being a junior college student.

2007-12-26T21:39:00.000+08:00

i was soooo mad in the car and i was forming my blog entry but when you've got lady melissa of simei and lady roslyn of aljunied having a tea party over msn, it's hard to keep that anger going. thank god for friends. :)

2007-12-25T01:06:00.000+08:00

HOHOHO people!!

the worst thing that could happen to you on x'mas eve is to wake up and realise that you've GOT to buy presents because you'll feel bad if you get presents from others but not give them. anyway i put on my "trusty" heels and sped off to marina sq. after my FIRST round of last minute shopping, somehow my heels decided to give me two wonderful presents from santa - BLISTERS. bloody hell. it was SO painful that i honestly LOST ALL MY INTEREST in shopping. hobbled and slid around fareast before i just gave in to the pain and got something from watson and then headed home. my blisters STILL HURT LA. tmd.

on a lighter note, x'mas-cum-gift exchange party at gopi's was fun.

2007-12-22T17:14:00.001+08:00

gonna put up pictures of my England trip. haha wen, i'm blogging about what you just blogged!!! *side laugh*

sick as a dog after puking too many times in a 13 hour flight.
10 days ignorant of chrissssssss :)

that's my big brother drving. getting for a LONG roadtrip

no tv, no internet, just nature and books. i sense a shudder from dota-fans

there's a kiss at the end of the rainbow :)

his 2nd "motherland"

see that couch? that's the exact one that Emily Bronte died on of TB. only when it was too late then she decided to want to see a doctor.

imagine this picture at NIGHT. and all you have for light is a fire-lantern. yes, on a drizzly and windy night, we went for the graveyard tour... ooooh.

that's SOAP

honestly, i dont rmb why i did that

it's called MAX. ^0^

sure there are "duh" times

but there sure are as many crazy times.

three of us decided that it was too funny to NOT take a picture of it... :)

after a LONG drive of country road and winding hills, you come home to

an even longer DRIVEWAY.

that's a hell lot of keys

my two dear brothers who drove 3hours just to see Chatsworth with me. ^_^

hand made, originally from a marble BLOCK

imagine, the same place where keira knightley and matthew macfadyen acted on pride.
c'mon, who wouldnt love a GARDEN like this.

the OTHER wing of your GARDEN

well, wen it DID snow but not in london. imagine 4 months of this bleak weather. :(

this is the living room of the place. super nice right?!

this is part of my bro's liverpool apartment. yes, i slept on the sofa. but it was NICCEEE.

girl in the red hat. :)

that london trip was SUPERB. walked along the thames, met pirate james, shopped, watched musicals, DRANK ALOT OF CRANBERRY, salt-beef sandwich with my lovely GHERKIN, walked somemore, met chris.

2007-12-21T23:45:00.000+08:00

with my brothers back in SG, i've been banished out of the comp room and can only use it if i sneak into their rooms and use either this love comp of mine or their labbies. ON THAT NOTE, anyone who would kindly and GENEROUSLY get me the $1399 Del (lime green) will see me running up and giving him/her a GIANT SMOOOOCH of gratitude. :)
*sings* santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight!!!!!!

had a quarrel with my mum just now but no, unlike the attention-seeking teenagers of singapore, i dont go around climbing houses(esp when their not mine) and then blogging bout it for the whole world to see. nope. instead, i give a black face to indicate that i AM angry, then sing a x'mas tune: NOEL to show that i've cooled down then think of my captain and CHRIStmas to let out a radiant smile of genuine happiness. SIMPLE.

i'll do what i do best, watch tv.

2007-12-18T01:49:00.000+08:00

remind me why i'm not exactly syched about tomorrow? right. dont't make me start the list now.
i'm a capped bottle full of complaints.

2007-12-16T01:05:00.000+08:00

finally got my GP essay done. chose some equality of the sexes question. i remembered i wanted to blog ALOT but it's either the medication or the GP essay that has robbed me of whatever i had wanted to blog about. oh wells.

i want to get "the hills" ENTIRE SOUNDTRACK!!!! raaaah. THAT'S THE ONLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT I WANNNNNNNT.

2007-12-14T23:30:00.000+08:00

i'm gonna keep this short and sweet because like all my other tpjcian contemporaries, we're all chio-ing this GL gp essay that is not dued when school reopens but TOMORROW.

woke up at an unworldy hour of 8.30am and felt as if i puked a plane of acid. BLANK. walked to kembagan mrt to jumptrain and headed to town to spend some LONG AWAITED time with wen. BLANK. camera repair. wen got angry. forever 21. wyn got angry. cotton on. wyn and wen both very happy. DBS atm. wyn and wen both sad. cotton on. wyn and wen both very happy again. sushi tei. wyn and wen both very very happy. END

met my mum. kinokuniya. decided on the card. BOUGHT my lit text (strange sense of completeness). spent almost an hour at taka trying to think of what to write on the card. dinner. nice. happy.

on the whole, today was very very eventful. finished brave new world (WHOOHOO!!!) and ... .... *drum roll please!*

THIS PICTURE IS OF INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT.

my lovely carepack done by... KOH SHUWERN!!!! *confetti! confetti!*

2007-12-13T23:38:00.000+08:00

yay. it's 2339 and wen's reaching singapore in an hours time.
oli came back today too but tml night she's flying off to Australia.. wth..heh

had a fun time walking and walking AND walking with Anna today at cityhall, marina square and suntec city. phew... that was a lot of walking and we talked bout a couple of things though i was trying to deal with my crappy sorethroat. Both anna and i bought babydollish tops and we're both VERY very happy with them.

saw yilin today and we're all very 'the hills'. did a curteous hug. haah but she's changed so much... dress-wise and everything. oh wells. my mum went "you should meet up with them la"...if only...

2007-12-12T22:32:00.000+08:00

today i have absolutely nothing to blog about...
the weather was cold and drizzly.

2007-12-10T23:39:00.000+08:00

still waiting patiently for friday. what to do til then?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after reading a bit of brave new world, i can TOTALLY relate to Bernard Marx. actually, if i'm not careful, i might just turn out to be a more severe version of him in later life. which IS BAD.

finally got down to actually filling up my pain stakingly self-made christmas cards. hope that i can finish them all by tml. AND SEND THEM OFF. right about now, i should peel myself off the couch and actually start doing homework and rivision and blah and blah and blah. honestly, i keep telling myself it's just one more year of torture. just ONE MORE YEAR. it's a bad start but i cant wait for next year to be over.

apart from the revision, i think the holiday's a lot of time just that promos and chinese As and OP sucks the desire to want to study again. well...holidays are ending and i MUST PICK MYSELF UP!!! tiramisu myself!!

i tira-misss-you!!!!

2007-12-09T15:06:00.000+08:00

urg... wen is STILL away... :(

couldnt really find anyone to msg yday during the "lil crisis" and felt kindda lost so just ended up simmering in my own unhappiness. therefore, i've been busying myself with making christmas cards and doing the sameo with watching tv etc etc etc.

watched golden compass with gopi, sean, gege, alvin and zizie. bloody hell emotionally blackmailed me into watching the show then realised that it was the BEST decision that i made that day. golden compass IS good. well, i guess the new trend is the whole fantasy thing where talking mythical creatures go to war and good triumphs over evil. blah blah blah. but at least gopi's gonna help me with my gaydar test and confirm whether CG is indeed veered towards the other side in which case i will have more than just the odd coloured car to complain about. HAHAHA.

that magic lucky eight ball sucks. it LIED TO ME.

2007-12-06T23:15:00.000+08:00

spent the day with anna and we were supposed to go to ikea then watch a movie but (thanks to me for being late) it was too much of a rush so we just camped at her place while we waited for 4.30 then went to buy our tickets. did some random shopping before watching hero and all. and yes, the snack bar is INDEED everyone's guilty pleasure... the movie wasnt as good as i expected it to be because it was too draggy and also partially my bladder was crying out to me as the show was into its last half hour.

got to talk to anna about the friendship problem and it's just a relief that i was able to talk about it to someone. esp since jessie has MIA-ed ever since i got back so much so that i havent even passed her her present. ah well. and my dear dear oli has flown to kathmando. raah. there's like seriously no more regulars to go with me to icc so i'm acting like a facebook application; RECRUITING more people!!! yes, i'm starting an army!!!

after i talked to anna bout 247, i dont think i wanna keep thinking of it anymore because it's only gonna make matters worse and put more strain on the friendship so yea. indeed, anything that starts with B means trouble.... .... oh shit.

2007-12-06T01:48:00.000+08:00

raah, i've just CLEARED my room and SHOWERED but since i've got no access to my parents' room and hence a hairdryer, i've got to find stuff to do until my hair dries MANUALLY. urg....

hurm, it's my time to be stuck in singapore as wen flies to japan and enjoys her snow-filled fun. to add a special 'lil thing to the carepack, i braved the wind, the pouring rain and my SOAKED jeans to walk to icc to get our picture. it is also partially that i dont really think that was the photo i would put up. mei you feeling la. haha.

oh ya, i wanted to do some very long thought-provoking post about friendship and blahblah but i think life's too short to be bothered about the lil glitches that come along in relationships(any type). unless you really think that you've had the last straw and it REALLY affects you then you should bury yourself in those lil glitches and cracks that do appear along the way of relationships.

to sum up my days' thoughts in one singular theme would be VERY impossible unless it was a constant priority in my mind such as the JLPT preparation. ANYwhoo, i've been thinking that it's not that i dont want to let bsquared know me better but i'm the one with the problem. i let my surroundings get to me so i get VERY self-concious about what others will think of me. it sucks totally but like i wont really get over this unless i ___________. ya. so that's the core/root/source/whatever-you-call-it of my constant pushing away of bsquared or any _____.

2007-11-30T16:10:00.000+08:00

i'm stressed up.

stressed up by my JLPT.
stressed up by my jc.
stressed up by validation in SC.
stressed up by obligation.

but i still carry on. because at least there's one part of my life i've finally figured out. i've stopped being so discontented with the lack there of because i'm convinced that when it really happens, i'm sure it's gonna be beautiful.

this song is wonderful. lyrics are SUPERB...well to an emo-ing teen it is.
ALMOST LOVER - A FINE FRENZY. (only the hills)

Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

2007-11-27T22:39:00.000+08:00

i'm back in Singapore and am still suffering from jetleg. woke up at 4 in the AFTERNOON!! yesyes dear wen did try to accompany me through the night but by 2am i think it was too much of a stretch for her.haha.

finally caught up with my hills and even thought it might be staged, it's kindda like a "rule" book where you can learn how to deal with things and how to "treat" certain situations.....i'm kindda rambling cause i dont really wanna reveal too much on what i'm actually applying the "rules" to but for those who know, it has to do with skinnies and a bicycle! ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
go on... laugh all you want. hrump.

oli is away and wont be back AT ALL until next year so i'm missing her.. :(
but i hope she'll be alright esp while she does her trekking. hmm it's kindda sian to be back. when you're overseas, you tend to run away from all the responsibilities and most of reality and you just have fun... and it was real fun hanging out with my brothers. esp since both have been overseas this year and just the 3 of us have not really hung out that much. yea...talk cock sing song play majong was what we did in those 2 weekends. yea...can't wait for next year dec when i'm done with my As and marcus gorgor is done with his masters and benji gorgor is *hopefully* still working in SG. but at least we're all gonna be in SG for x'mas. woots!!!

man... there's still the giving out of cards, the buying of presents and blah blah blah.
the only thing about the trip that was stressful was buying back stuff for everyone else in SG. honestly, i should just adopt the "special people" list.

2007-11-24T20:57:00.000+08:00

it's the weekend which means that my stay here is coming to an end... :( i finally got use to the weather here then so fast must go back...raah... but then again after all the musicals have been watched, then there's really nothing for a "tourist" to do anymore. shopping is also out of the question esp when you look at everything and start converting...you go *bonk*

but the only thing that i dont look forward to about going back to singapore would be 1)the 12 OR 14 hour long flight and 2)the shit i WILL have to do for orientation. believe me, if it(orientation 1) was done the conventional way then i wouldnt be so pissed off and disgrunted.... yea

2007-11-22T17:03:00.000+08:00

as usual i'm up earlier than my brother but today cannot blame him la. he was like up most of the night doing up his project. poor thing. haha and i overheard his conversation with selina when they were on skype!! haha SHHHHH!!! dont tell him! yea. so today he's going to school and i'm probably going to the different galleries. hmmm not really excited about the art museums but more of the photographers gallery!!! haah but the tate modern photographs werent that good. as in it wasnt very inspirational. the one that i saw in ponden lane was SO MUCH MORE INSPIRING. well as if i'm becoming one in the near future. oh wells.

today i shall try my HARDEST to get everyone's present. i'm sorry la but here it's like TIMES 3 can?! (see i seldon...actually NEVER used "can" so if i used it here, that means it's really an emphasis and not my inner "ah lian" coming out okayzz) hurhur. yea so i'll try to get y'all prezzies but in case i dont. PISS OFF!!! hahhar.

since there are too many ppl on my list, i shall just simply act like one of those snob shits on mtv's sweet sixteen and CROSS out ppl from the list!! HARHARHAR!!!*evil laugh*

P.S. i really wished i could do the previously mentioned but cannot la... dont think i can. pffffts.

2007-11-22T04:47:00.000+08:00

hello hello!! it's been 4 days since and i'm now in london. basically, i've been watching musicals and mostly walking. i've also realised one major flaw in my mentality on london's cuisine. there isnt much a sole london food simply because london is so diverse and being such a metropolitan city, it's really hard not to be. in london, i've been to Japan, Italy, Spain, Mexico, Hong Kong, China, France, Germany, Belgium etc etc etc. ya. well i guess the most london kindda of food would be BANGERS AND MASH, the typical big english breakfast and fish and chips(though there isnt much of a big hooha on it)

today i went to topshop in london and i tell you... it's like 4 stories the amt of clothes at forever21 but better quality. however, i came out with only a pair of shoes and earrings. yup. even though there was sooo much clothes, nothing caught my eye. oh wells.

2007-11-17T16:22:00.000+08:00

hello!!! i'm now ____km away in my brother's liverpool apartment waiting for my dear sleeping brothers to wake up so that we can finally eat breakfast. it's name? "the big one". and when you're in europe, when they say "big"they really mean "BIG". HEH

the 12hr50min plane ride was as you know coming from wyntrice, just simply horrible. the first few hours were okay because i watched STARDUST!!! It's SUPERB!! then watched little mermaid (XD it's NICE LOR) then watched simpsons but only for "spiderpig". then read wen's letter and yea i went "awwwww" at the sitting-next-to-me part. haha but after that... ....

during the whole 12 hours, i only ate a piece of chicken, some carrots, 3 mushrooms and a bun. drank just too much orange juice and i started puking. YES, AGAIN. so i puked around 4-5 times. it was horrible. so when marcus gorgor "found" me at amt coffee, i was sulking at one corner. heh. took a cab back which was very long then i guess the petrol kiosk "sausage roll" which i tried to eat came crawling back out once we reached his apartment. we tried to grab some dinner at some chinese restaurant because i was looking for something light like kwaytiao soup la, yong tau foo la, fishball tang hoon soup la. basket all don't have. so i went there and end up decided on a vegetable noodles. sounds very safe right? HA. the HUGE bowl of soup noodles was bigger than the size of those ramen bowls at ajisen and FILLED ALMOST TO THE BRIM. and it smelt damn weird la. after eating a bit more i realised it was because the soup base was made from BEEF!!! >_<

yea. then took a TWO hour train to liverpool. it's DAMN COLD HERE. according to benji gorgor, it rains everyday. haha and just to scare my parents, someone just got shot the other day at the city centre. but it was a revenge thing la so not just out of the blue kenna shot. yea but benji gorgor's apartment is SUUUUPER NICCEEE. haha then can see random seagulls flying past the glass windows. but we had a nice lil supper that consisted of milo and a random chicken pie. XD and marcus gorgor and i took the couch and i being shorter took the smaller one lor. and benji korkor is watching me blog over my shoulder.

P.S. after that 12 hour plane ride, mummy and papa should be happy to know that i'm aiming for local U now. only at most 45min bus ride.

2007-11-13T22:10:00.000+08:00

haha didnt go for econs today because i woke up and just didnt feel like it. ;P went for japanese and as usual was frantically trying to memorise as much as i could in the 15min train ride from kembagan to tampines.. heh as if it helped. SO. anna is acting like a free bird now that O levels has ended. haha... even though it's not really 16nov2007 but i think a proper tribute should be made to all of year 2006 who survived O levels.

yay... after a gruelling A math and chem paper.

right so i remembered that i wanted to blog alot about the happenings and my random thoughts but i'm tired so.. BOOHOO. yay 3 more days till i whoosh off to london!! XD

P.S. oh i finally am able to make decent looking AND tasting onigiri!!! haha they look triangular now!!! sooo much better than the circular blobs on my 1st and 2nd attempt. 3rd attempts RAWK. going to the zoo and hopefully see my PIGLETS!!!
*sings*
"SPIDER PIG!! SPIDER PIG!!
does whatever a spider pig does
can he swing from a web?
no he cant cuz he's a pig!"

2007-11-11T22:41:00.000+08:00

couch potato is IN DA 'OUSE!!! yes... it was that hiong that my mum started calling me that the whole day. these were non-stop the whole evening. yes i didnt count what i watched before. gilmoregirls, simpsons, fantastic4, more internet stuff, the noose and back to internet stuff...SHIZZ

i loooove the noose. it's one of the rare incidences when i actually congratulate channel5 for being...how'd you call it?........unconservative. it's almost like the soup or what the buck. absolutely hilarious and wonderful.

2007-11-07T23:10:00.000+08:00

now that i'm squeaky-clean and has washed away all the grease in my hair, i'm in a totally placid mood to recount the day's incidents... one which specially makes me happy.XD ya lah, i'm am chio-ing now la.

went to school for GP and crapped with san and gissy during lecture..heh...went for jap and FINALLY had lunch with anna then i realised it was 1 and a half hours to math tuition. hence started my internal debate on what to do in the mean time. i thought that going home then going for tuition was a waste of transport time so eccentric me went to the airport and slept for a while. i was DAMN tired. too much ying ye 3+1 until 2++ then waking up at 7 in the morning. but when i woke up, i had this SUPER bad headache. super super painful. then it continued all the way through maths and bloody crap la, the tutor so adamant on teaching me partial fractions when school will be teaching me normal distribution. WTH. math+headache=NOT EASY.

oli, my saviour then brought me to ice cream chefs (like default already) and i was so happy because i've not been there for a while and when i entered, i exclaimed "好久不见了!!" but my head was still pounding so i asked beanie boy whether he had panadol flavoured ice cream. i know it's not funny or remotely intellectually humorous but that was the extent of pain and delusion that my headache brought me.

so i tried watermelony and honeydew with fruitloops. (eh it was a damn tough decision with that headache of mine and i NEVER have headaches... which is damn weird la). yea but i kept feeling the need to rub my temples and forehead because it was throbbing. beanie boy kept coming over to kay poh and kachao us but i would always go "我头很痛啦". after a while, he came over again then after my same response, he went over to the counter and i saw that he was trying to find some panadol. AWWWWWWW. yea then he gave me the panadol extra. SOOOO SWEEET. 超体贴!!!!haha that's the extra treatment you get when you go to a shop more than twice a week. oh yea, only when we were about to leave then i talked to the CG about sushi tei. XD.

he leaned over the counter!! sooooo cuteeee!!!! XXXXXD

went to parkway to get the card materials, met faizal for dinner then went to have some kopi with them before i went home. haha his mum sounds damn cute la!! but i didnt dare drink coffee lest my headache came back again. but i'm damn happy i went to the airport to sleep. if not, surely get knocked out while solving crappy partial fractions. haha and i wouldnt get that headache. heeeeeheeeheee.

yay, tml gonna go stonegrill with jessie (FINALLY) and oh dear, confirm will go back to ice cream chefs. raaahh. making cards with oli tooooo.

2007-11-05T00:05:00.000+08:00

i feel that it's really at seventeen that you start learning the true values of life. when you're younger, you just act as if you do or are just too caught up with wanting to grow up that it just passes you by. at seventeen, there's still traces of that childish angst that's floating in you but you get to appreciate how maturity can be like a pair of eyes guilding you through the hardships. these glimsps of life's important lessons are so precious yet fleeting that once they pass you by, NEVER ignore them. absorb them, learn from them so that when something similar happens to you, you wont get thrashed down as hard but use you sheild of knowledge to protect you, protect you from the pain.

originally, there was nothing here. just a blank. a void. an empty space... until you filled it up.

staring out the window, noticing the flashes of lightning illuminating the matt ebony black-coloured sky that only classic piano seats of the 80s could reflect. hearing the pelts of the rain, the clashes of thunder, i realise that life is pretty much like the black sky. uncertain. the lightning is moments when you do actually 'see the light' and trudge on in the unending journey of living life. i guess that's what friends and family are really for. there're lightning flashes to remind you of who you are as well as lessons to guide you through life. and i guess your parents are the only ones who really know you through and through and that's why they always have to keep a look out for you even though at times you seem to really get fedup at their continuous nagging. my parents know me more than i may ever know myself and that's why i feel a huge sense of regret that i don't know them more.

2007-11-04T00:50:00.000+08:00

i have to go to china town soooon cos it's super interesting la... met meerkat, dugong, waiwan and enqi at chinatown mrt station and headed to k-ster obviously celebrating our liberation from OP.haha. yes.. it was fun and all. missed k-ing.

YES!! today i shall mark the day that i could finally put on some decent eye-lining on my own as well as hairstyling. i can actually imagine ros shaking her head in a very disapproving manna haha! fcube huh!!!

hmmmmm i think i should try to pick up piano again... and i realised that after i've grown up, i start to appreciate classical piano pieces. i used to go all gaga over pop songs but somehow, the true essence of piano is kindda lost in those songs. classical piano is the way to go. but it's been soooo long. i tried to listen to a piece on youtube and follow the score, but i got lost half-way.. urg. i shall wait when everyone's out of the house, then i shall start to practise... and it doesnt help when i'm surrounded by neighbours whose children are MUCH younger than i am but can play so much better. oh craps, and tomorrow's sunday.

2007-11-03T02:11:00.000+08:00

heyhey!! like my NEW blogskin?? very un-emo.... and i like the simplicity of the whole layout... i guess that's why i still prefer blogger to lj. considering that this has been the furthest i've gone to incorporating interactiveness in my blog, it's kindda clear that i'm not a very lj kind of person.

OP was today and I'M VERRRRY HAPPY IT'S OVVVVVER!!! haha yes and thanks to the rain, lightning and thunder, my nerves weren't that shaken... even though i could feel myself burning up... haha let's just say that while waiting for the internal moderator, my face became super red... oh ya and i'd like to say kudos to the arts students who came up with beautiful bullshit for QnA.

dear ee ting would like to know that i've been officially hooked on to ying ye3+1. however, i've realised that taiwan serials are starting to copy the plots of those korean ones. super tragic la.oh mans...either someone has some disease and makes the entire thing heartbreaking(huan huan ai) or one of the characters died and makes people sad too(ying ye 3+1) but they all make me go all huan chi and that's why i spend up to a few hours every night watching them on youtube. XD

yayyay.... tml going KKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE ARE TP125!!!

2007-11-01T00:50:00.000+08:00

so the halloween dinner wasnt that all bad. haha i even won a trip for one to genting for 2 nights. hmmm somehow i'd rather win the ipod than the trip. oh wells. yes so i thought it was going to really bad and boring but to my surprise the games were fun and the MC was entertaining enough. PLUS the drag queen was SUPERB!!! oh man.

yea, so there was this guy that volunteered for some game and went on stage. since he was the only local after 10 foreigners, i was like "phew something different" and he wasnt that bad looking either.. PLUS he was wearing a blue pirate-like costume. then i realised he looked a wee bit like jason from sepet... as i was about to lean to wawa to tell her that he was quite yandao, my father's business friend's wife(sitting next to me) tapped me on my shoulder and said, "that boy on stage's my son!". i was sooooo heng i didnt say it out loud la. omg. total "OMSH" moment.

but i found out from my dad that he's not that old either!!!! XD
and my new fav phrase would be "OH CAPTAIN! MY CAPTAIN!"

i think what i told fadybaby bout me not having anymore eye candy has just been updated!!! hahaha

2007-10-31T00:18:00.000+08:00

after listening for 3 min thinking it was some inspirational kind of airy singing, i realised that it was a huang yi da song with the equilizer gone wrong.... never approach a wyntrice esp when she has just had a taiwan drama overload and it's past 12 midnight. yes, thanks to WONG EE TING, i've been pia-ing(once again) some taiwan idol drama called ying ye 3+1. SUPER GAO XIAO.

quote from meerkat "i'd probably be doing PW today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and yes even the day after that." it's true.... PW CONSUMES PEOPLE. but it's fun when you've got a dugong, meerkat and koala trying to entertain themselves and the owl kaypoh kaypoh come join. after painting and re-painting and ADDING more stuff to our dear little bus, we went nuts and tried to walk like guys. lemme just say that dugongs have tails instead of legs for a reason. and dugong was so fascinated by my sec1+2 "phrase of insecurities" as i like to put it. XD

raah tml's gonna be super rushed la. and after that i've got to go for some halloween dinner with my parents... BORING!!! it's so un-halloween that i've given up trying to think of a costume. urg... what's halloween if you're not with frens who would dress-up and just go crazy with you???? had to cancel a dinner summore. oh wells.

running with fad tml... of all ppl call me....urgggg haha but i'm so gonna grill her about her banglah.

survivor PW!!!!coming to a cinema near you winter 2007.

2007-10-30T00:52:00.000+08:00

我们在走廊经过已经变成陌生人了. 我假装看不到你, 你也不会像以前一样取笑我. 结果, 我们只能往前走, 隐瞒自己对彼此的感受, 走完那条走廊.

生气就是在乎, 在乎就是喜欢. 如果我们假装不在乎就怎样?

2007-10-27T22:33:00.000+08:00

this post will display really atrocious numerical display of memory. if you didnt get that, it meant RANDOM.

borrowed MULAN from videzy and i have to say that disney's attempt at branching out to The Orient was much better then than it has now. and yes i mean the horrible flop movie called "the magical gourd". i mean for mulan, it was a moving story about a brave woman in China's history who for the love of her father, decided to risk her life and cross-dress to fight the war against the huns. it was also funny with the whole ancestors thing and funny-man eddie murphy doing the voice of a mushu, the lizard sized dragon. in 2007, where technology is supposedly the best thing that ever happened to present-day animation, you've got shitty animation with an equally horrible story plot that surrounds a boy without any friends that has to resort to following a walking, talking self-righteous gourd. i fear for the future of disney's cartoons.

in the past with Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Aladdin, Pocahontas, etc etc, disney was the epitome of wonderful stories and it grew so popular that they even built theme parks. i donnoe. i guess the cycle of any corporation is like the dynasties of China, or like the old saying goes "what goes up must come down". i just hope disney will attain its former glory again.

went with my parents to changi village for dinner. apparently, there's a stonegrill express there. it is almost the same concept but minus the ambience of the original Katong stonegrill, as well as the finely cut meat, the wonderful side veggies and the lack of oil splurting all over you and causing your hand to jerk away from the plate every 5 seconds, you've got yourself STONEGRILL. all in all, i'd rather you pay a few dollars more for a more worth it meal at the Katong Stonegrill.

we headed to the beach after that and we found a spot where arriving planes would fly overhead as it's about to land in SG. super awesome place to go. the planes were LITERALLY flying just above our heads. ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL. the more picture-worthy moment would be when the plane is flying towards you but it's still to far to hear the engines. so all you see is a bright orb that is silently flying above the water and the two "headlights" cuts the surface of the water on either side of the plane making sure that a beam of darkness is exactly in the middle. AWESOME.

i donnoe whether i should continue being angry at her. i feel that it's immatured but i just want her to know that i'm missing her as a friend and that she has to know i'm angry at her. i guess it's really difficult to accpet taking the back seat once someelse comes into the picture. sighs. p3 all over again.

i told you this post was a really atrocious numerical display of memory

2007-10-27T15:22:00.000+08:00

生气就是在乎, 在乎就是喜欢

problem is, i doubt you know that i'm actually pissed off at you. even if you ask me about it, i wont tell you because i think you ought to know why. but since we're both non-confrontational, i honestly don't know how it's gonna end up. and that's what i'm worried about.

2007-10-25T23:12:00.000+08:00

PW, believe it or not, has actually been very informative and has taught me many things, of which, most of it HAS NO DIRECT LINKAGE to PW. i shall now confess that the only PW-related skill i've learnt is how to make pie chats. period. apart from that, it really gives you some offhand experience on working with different people and learning how to deal with people when they become difficult or are just sometimes pain in the asses. PW also brings you on a journey of self-discovery and it you are not too blinded by the tons of papers of PIs, GIs, GPPs and WRs, you might just get to learn something more about your friends as well as reflecting your own actions and thoughts. therefore, PW isn't all that useless as i thought it was. i guess as long as you can see through the sheets of paper and realise a deeper meaning behind PW, it definitely makes the whole PW thing less tiring and hectic. there, beautiful bullshit can be trained by PW too. the exact criteria for OP.

after that whole ishiguro-styled paragraph, i'll revert back to casual.

mel, dugong and i went to simei after school to finish up OP....well that's what we had hoped to do. so we went to LJS first to eat and all. we kindda had a small conversation that really put me at ease because a problem that has been continuously buggin me finally lifted off my chest and i guess, it's just an innate human characteristic to not want to feel lonely in anything. and i also realised something. when people ask for your opinion, for most of them they have already formed a stand that their gonna take and no matter what you DO say, they will not take into consideration. either that or they will argue back why they think otherwise. i mean i cant stand this though i do admitt i am sometimes guilty of doing this but i guess what "courtney" in the sweetest thing said

"Fifty percent of what people say when they are joking is true, which means, you do wanna go to this wedding but you are too afraid to admit it. So, by making some sort of joke about it, you get to say what you really want without being vulnerable. "

okay, i guess the wedding part did not fit in so you should kindda guess what it means.

oli told me to let go but i honestly wish i wouldnt have to. sad to say i kindda predicted it with the season2 of "the hills". yea, but "when she loved me" is a seriously super nice song and it really reflected how relationships can become be it family relations, lovers or frienship. mel dugong and i kept playing it on repeat.... well it was just me repeating it...heh.. but we got into some intellectual discussion about the various themes of the song. coool.

2007-10-23T20:37:00.000+08:00

even though promos has ended, there's still PW that is so foul, it'll make a nun curse. yes i have been going crazy dealing with PW. i have to admitt that i'm not the one doing the most at PW in my group but i'm almost living and breathing it these few days. and my days are so caught up with PW that these few days, i've only been hanging out with 4 other people - my other group members. occasionally some radom people from my class and DEAR DEAR JESSIE who i pig out at ice cream chef with. pls let her get promoted *prays*.

my parents have found another thing to nag at me about: the fact that ice cream chef is my new haunt. their excuse? the amt of calories i'm packing in is gonna kill me. hmmm then did i recall that they were the ones who FORCED me to quit canoeing? the only sport i joined as a CCA and probably the only thing that i truely took seriously. hmmm. so they disapprove of me joining a sport that ensures my fitness and health AND as well as a place i hang out with my friends because it's detrimental to my health. screwed up. but i know that somehow they care for me. i dont hate my parents. i'm just angry at them right now.

what i hate, is the fact that i've come to realise that i've either become or have always been a doormat to others. i seem to be always accomodating my DARLING friends and no, not just those i just made this year. i'm always the one to give in because i dont wanna seem too ba dao and i dont wanna impose on others to accept my point of view. sometimes when plans get screwed up, i dont openly confront the person because i'd take into consideration the frenship and how not worth it it is to pursue the matter. for PW, they'd rather go with what they think and even though i tell them the rational, they still wanna follow with what they want to do. and even though i give in, i'm left angry at myself but i know i'll never bring myself to argue back.

utter and complete bullshit is how to describe my life.

2007-10-11T01:00:00.000+08:00

man there's gonna be LOTS of things planned i feel...lots of things on my holiday agenda huh!

1) help oli mark
2) chinese As and JLPT lvl3
3) MASS DANCE WHOOPY!!! (song choice, dance moves n FILM)
4) furniture in the SCR??
5) facebook(maybe)
6) OPEN HOUSE
7) PROM 2007!!!
8) OGL camp
9) ORIENTATION 1
10) above all... MAMBO THE NIGHTS AWAY!!!

ahhh my world is colourful now

2007-10-09T21:52:00.000+08:00

SECOND LAST PAPER DOWN!!!!

and i spent today with jessie at none other than my recent favorite hangout place - Ice Cream Chefs!!! yes unfortunately we didnt take note of the time that it opened and reached there an hour early.... and how did we spend that one hour?? we sat down (on our math notes) in the back alley and just talked bout crap... heh.

true enough, we were the first customers and had to wait another half an hour for the cold plate to freeze up....and we signed up for the part-time job thing.. hahah *HOPE WE GET IT!!!!*

so we stayed there for almost 2 hours... and what did we do??? T-A-L-K. yes. talked bout lots of stuff and i kindda opened up to her bout the on-going coalition...if you know what i mean. and i think she's the 1st person in school that i actually told the WHOLE story to..hmmm JESSIE CHOO YOU BETTER BE HONORED!!! haha and you may ask how i've got this whole bulk of narcissism? just spend 3 odd hours with jessie and you'll know!! haha.... jessie...you know i still take you serious too right?? *pouts* haha

yes... so we talked from canoeing to shitty people that cant stand the school and blames everyone BUT themselves for the predicament they're in to friends and cameras and plans and haiyo... how much do you think we can talk in 2 hours??? EXACTLY. i think the day we can't find anything to talk about will be a very sad day. and a very scary one at that.

yay... tml starbucks siglap will BE INVADED!!! with intellectual TPJC students (of course) going there to have an intellectual discussion on the Handmaid's Tale. a very important literature text.
and yes i shall finally dedicate this paragraph to cindy, fad, san, naf, haziq and pav for carrying out this INTELLECTUAL discussion..... however i hope it will not be all about haziq's "love life" if you know what i mean. XD

__we don't breed elitism__

2007-10-05T23:49:00.000+08:00

my own imagination is failing me. it used to be my way of escape when reality hit hard and life got tough. but now, even trying to escape is so difficult. i realised i've become jaded and cynical and increasingly dissatisfied with my life. too many "if onlys" and "what ifs" have crossed my mind. i find that i've made so many wrong choices and once again find myself asking "what could've been".
wo zhe me cai ke yi zhao dao yi qian de wo. or would covering up the complaints and self-reflection actually help to overcome this weird phase? life should be like what charlotte bronte discribes it to be.

LIFE, believe, is not a dream
So dark as sages say;
Oft a little morning rain
Foretells a pleasant day.
Sometimes there are clouds of gloom,
But these are transient all;
If the shower will make the roses bloom,
O why lament its fall ?

Rapidly, merrily,
Life's sunny hours flit by,
Gratefully, cheerily,
Enjoy them as they fly !

What though Death at times steps in
And calls our Best away ?
What though sorrow seems to win,
O'er hope, a heavy sway ?
Yet hope again elastic springs,
Unconquered, though she fell;
Still buoyant are her golden wings,
Still strong to bear us well.
Manfully, fearlessly,
The day of trial bear,
For gloriously, victoriously,
Can courage quell despair!

2007-10-03T21:12:00.000+08:00

with my 2nd promo paper down, i've surfacedout of the pile of papers, books and torn-out hair into the wonderful internet world to occasionally(well more of routinely) to watch my only source of salvation - huan huan ai. i know it's hard to believe but when you're like me, without that special someone to wei ni da qi, there's only taiwan ou xiang jus to turn to.... anywhoo... i've just found another fellow huan huan ai supporter.....(drum roll please!!)...JASMINE WONG!!! hahaa yes yes we've been pia-ing (not revision unfortunately) but our dear huan huan ai. raah.. haha both of us pia until ep8 also... haha i might sound kindda psychotic now, but honestly, it does feel good that you're not alone doing the obviously wrong but terribly addictive thing esp at such a time.

i just remembered one phrase which really reflects how i feel about a current on-going issue.
- "when the baby comes in, the dog goes out". what she said really came true in the end huh. i'm not gonna be the hindrance then.

what i go online everyday to spend 2 hours, risking my chances and wasting my revision time. but 只有你能让我那么花痴!!!!

2007-09-15T21:17:00.000+08:00

i guess this is it... my parents will be happy to hear it, my brothers will be happy to hear it and so will Mr.Chua and coach.... no point trying to run away anymore.... not when all the cards have been laid down on the table. wont be fair to the team and it wont be fair to my parents either. all the tears this year... dont think it'll be as many next year. seems like the last boat i raced indeed was a T1. thanks for rowing the k2 with me jacq...

2007-09-03T01:01:00.000+08:00

promos are coming and i'm online blogging. wth is wrong with me. grrr anyhow, i decided to let it go and come all out, confronted her bout it in a "friendly" way blah blah blah.... watched the last episode of THE HILLS(season2) today and somehow i feel oddly over-concerned for Heidi and the friendship she and Lauren shares. i know, why the hell am i getting so fricking SHUISHED about people i will NEVER meet or doesnt concern me in any way possible. but somehow i kinda applied it to my situation now.

BRIEF SUMMARY OF THE FINAL EPISODE
after a VERY long time of going back and forth between heidi and spencer, the major hit happened when heidi told spencer that she didnt want to move in with him and spencer being the asshole that he is, told her to "get out of my car"....gentleman i think not. anyhow heidi was super affected by it and no matter what her collegues at work or what lauren adviced her, she still decided to move in with pig-ass spencer. at first it all seemed as if spencer really wasnt the wrong guy...then it he said that he pressuring heidi to move in with his was so that heidi wouldnt be with lauren .... WHAT AN ASS... even so he said that he's not gonna change being PLAYBOY SPENC....SUPER SHITTY ASSHOLE. so heidi moved out and the parting scene between her and lauren was really sad...no thanks to "when your gone" in the background.

somehow i kindda have a feeeling that things might change and yet feel sad that what happened to heidi and lauren could come true to any friendship. oh wells ...

2007-08-28T22:05:00.000+08:00

as the night progresses, i'm getting more and more pissed. youtube or the incompetent uploaded is seriously screwed up because i want to watch the hana kimi but somehow it just stops in the middle of the segment. and it has been happening for a LOT of segments and that's whats pissing me off, preventing me from watching the show....oh ya, if you were laughing at this post then you BETTER WATCH OUT. no matter how close i am to you, if you tell me how stupid or childish i sound on this post, you're REALLY GONNA GET A F***ING. then apart from the screwed up download shit, random assholes are flooding my tpjc.net inbox and it's SUPER irritating when it's about useless shit on how we should appreciate some teacher(econs of ALL subjects) and no, i dont really care if you feel hurt by what i say. apart from the useless shit in my inbox, there are also those irritaing ppl who "reply to all" and they simply FLOOD UP my inbox with one word replies. irritating as hell. and i'm pissed off because i havent settled my teachers' day costume and wished i didnt have to go so that i could go back to cchms where i REALLY HAD FUN. oh ya.... to think of it, i hated the way you replied me. i'm not obsessed with you but you just blew me off and i have a hunch it was because of someone that you wanted to stay back and not cause you had classes. whatever, i aint gonna be so qian jiu to you next time. bite my dust if for all i care. oh ya. and from some msg thing that i got, fine go on, go watch the movie with him then your can hanky panky all your want in the bloody theater and have a family and train up your stupid kids and ensure they run with you blah blah blah, then you're can share your AWESOME music and share ipods WHATEVER. go on, rub it in cause they're both SOOO INTO YOU right?? go on, act as if you dont like the attention happening to you, act as if you are so hard to get. please la, if youre so sure that you dont like him then why the shitting hell are you asking me for comments on him and how you should've reacted???? you're REALLY STARTING TO BE AN IRRITANT TO ME. act so self-concious then somehow oppose to WHATEVER i have to say. okay la.... argue and argue then dont even want to accept other people's opinions and give some disappointed look...please la... ni ping she me pi ping wo. then go on and on about your stupid sec school and how your such a dutiful ______ girl.

there were more things i wanted to rant about but i cant remember le. better be happy that the post ends here.

2007-08-24T21:43:00.001+08:00

the below entry is a combination of me+sick me+gettin emo+too much anti-biotics flowing in my bloodstream+living off ribena 100% the whole day+getting stressed out = emo wyn just wheezing and counghin more.

okay...i'm gonna stay away from the emo side because i'm can't let myself go to those depths esp when i PLAN to study ECONOMICS!!!! my FANTABULOUSLLY FAVOURITE MOST FANTASTIC SUBJECT EVER!!!! whoooyooo whoooyooo~~` choochoo.... choochoo...woooo!!!! dang just got a reality check... hmmm please ignore that bit of insanity.... AHEM AHEM.....yea so i'm NOT gonna get emo over nothing cos i dont want to think of whatever can make me emo....wheeeeee

yea and i have to take note, GET AN ORANGE AND SCRIBBLE STUFF ON IT TO GIVE FAV...
AND.... the only thing making me high and crazy and emo-free are the past podcasts that i saved in my comp....only muttons man...i might be dealing with a shit load of shitty insensitive people that i REAAALY dont wanna talk to in msn (apart from my ben gorgor) but i'm still smiling!!!!! once again I LOVE YOU MUTTONS!!!!! *high-pitched scream!!!*

haha their SOOO irritaing!!! omg!! but i love muttons!!!! but their SOOOOO irritating and i'm smiling i donnnoe why......weeeeeeee ooooooooooooooi seriously need to get muttons to CHEER ME UP IN THE MORNING!!!! CHANGE OF HABIT FOR WYNTRICE.... I SEE.....

2007-08-23T22:35:00.000+08:00

raaah.... i'm sick sick sick..... and not the dirty kinda sick...that's my norm but the medically ill, physically weak and becoming an emotionally wreck kinda sick. BOOHOO.

i honestly damn tired of studying. fine i may not have pia-ed that much but like i just dont want to study. no change that....i dont want to study econs. i dont mind all the lit, the math or the heap load of china studies readings but econs takes the cake la. it spoils my mood because it prevents me from studying the other subs that i like and have to conc more on if i wanna get promoted.... shit la... another hurdle that i hate but HAVE to pass.... raah... anyone can help make me like econs the very bit???? omg my basic english is screwed....just like my GP marks....SCREWED.... and everyone is catching up and scoring n improving and here i am lagging behind and not doing up to par and has a high chance of getting retained because i've got so little time to improve and study and read and correct. i'm almost becoming a hysterical psychotic bitch. just that i'm not pulling out my hair YET. and on top of it all.... i'm SICK.....

so sick and pissed off at my studies that i forget i dont feel at all at home when i'm in tpj. queer from how i was back during the 1st 3 months when i was all "I LOVE SCHOOL AND JC IS SOOOO FUN!!!!" fun my f***ing ass it's not. shit add on vulgar to whatever i described myself as. i miss cchms days. i miss wpjs esp when we're buying food in the canteen and we would always buy the same food from the same stall, the first person in line to help take all the utencils, sitting together, two to buy drinks after that and two to sit and guard the food. i still rmb our drinks order. 3greentea packet+lemon barley packet. either that or going to suntec subway. it's been so long that i even doubt whether i rmb our orders correctly. i miss me. i cant't find ..........

i cant be bothered to finish up my entry. i'm becoming emo again.

2007-07-28T23:35:00.000+08:00

right so meet the parents was a bitch, and lots of things has been happening just that i wont tell you cos i doubt anyone's been here regularly esp since my blog was dead for a VERY LONG WHILE. hmmm next hurdles are my promos and DAMN i hope i pass WELL.... til then either something might spark me to type another entry or my blog's gonna stay STAGNANT. ohya I REALLY WANNA CHANGE THE SONG ON MY BLOG.... ANY TIPS??

2007-07-01T23:32:00.000+08:00

Dirty Dancing2: Havana Nights is OFFICIALLY one of my favourite show!! yes. I LOVE IT!! even more when it has diego luna! haha OUCH!

yday sparked the first stayover of wyn and wen!!! well it was actually wen who stayed over at my house and we pigged out with pizza, green tea and chips! haha grabbed dd2:havana nights and john tucker must die. hah watched both and decided to try for a third show :the contract but i KO-ed and she found out after she found herself talking to herself....heh.... then we woke up at 12...just in time to hear the church bell. COOLIO! then watched dd2:havana nights AGAIN!! and she went home to DB. hahaa i HAD to say it on the internet!!! hahhaaha

2007-06-26T23:09:00.000+08:00

i'm back again!!1 it's the middle of my mids and I DONNOE WHY I'M ONLINE!!!! okay so econs was a partial screw-up... heh. anyway while being tortured by revising econs yday, i picked up my phone and msg-ed harold lim. yes. i found myself doin all those childish things i did last year. he's FINALLY with that parkway girl and i think it's soooooo SWEEEEEET LA. even though wen says that i wouldnt have said that one year ago, well i'm saying it now. :)

oh ya. and somehow i wanna be ____________! i cant stand it la. it's ALMOST infurating. wait ALMOST?! whatever. what's wrong with me?!?!?!!! hha i'm getting dramatic. SO?! heeeeee.... this is a split personality conversation la. craps.

looking at your picture, i regret not knowing you sooner.

2007-06-17T18:17:00.000+08:00

wen is back and we can finally start planning our "night of liberation"!! or "one night liberty"? anyway mr chua told the T1 girls to get mentally prepared because OUR EVENTS ARE OUT!!! and i'm in the 1000m T1 race la!!! BOOHOOO... right this is gonna be a very rushed and short post because i've got to change after this to go out for fathers' day celebration.

thurs: went for rachel's bday celebration and i guess i went a BIT too crazy because i kindda scared jessie (or so she says) and someone commented how i would be with alcohol...hmmm.. ohwells! but...i REALLY want to justify myself and do some self discovery while i type but i've gotta go!!!

WHEN ARE YOU BACK?!

2007-06-12T16:08:00.000+08:00

raaah!!!! training was a bitch. as it's becoming to be. but THANK GOODNESS for the rain. we were doing our TEN FRICKKING sets of bursting and it was only 5/10 and i was getting weaker and weaker by the strokes(physically and mentally). so shu jie was telling me how i should just focus and i was tearing already then as i turned the boat i suddenly remembered that i havent hugged my mother for a long time and i just started to cry more. in between sobs and tears, i cried out loud "WO YAO HUI JIA!!!". and wonderfully, a roar of thunder and a siren that signalled a lightning warning... and those blessed words "come back NOW!!" paddling back to the slipway, my strokes were never that good or powerful. then we all rushed to the shelter and later i realised how dumb i was crowding with the REST of the team PLUS SA N VJ, so i went to the "hut"/"shelves" to join nash. jiewei and xuekai later joined us. we were the 4 smart ppl..the other "hut" was also full of ppl la.

looking at your side of the boats, i felt sad and lonely. came back and read his blog then her blog. FELT even lonelier. i really regret not meeting him sooner. pray for me to get better at a T1. :(

DEAR!!! I MISSSS YOU!!!

2007-06-11T15:39:00.001+08:00

had a very emotional training session today becos i was told to take up T1 for nationals. blech then my whole face turned black... according to jessie. heh. but what do you expect??? then after that we were made to run 4.3km.... >0<>

went to tm to eat the HK cafe food with jessie and eunice. haha we are BORED AND TIRED of hawker food la SOO JIA QING.... grrr and only now do i fully appreciate the invention of baked rice. checked my phone and dear wen msg-ed me bout some reverse calling thing. in the end i tried 3G video call and i'm sure that i bust my bill already but wen's gonna share so YAY!!! haha.... damnit la..... i MISS HER SOOOO MUCHH la!! thank goodness she's only away like for 10 days. after that we'll go crazy at the hotel!!! haah but so sad only 1 night. BOOHOO. oh wells.

i dont know how long i can keep this up, it's so mentally and physically challenging and i lack both.
but one phrase/ one word can brighten my day.... but you're still so faraway...

2007-06-08T20:26:00.000+08:00

I MISSSS YOUUUUU!!!!! it feels sooo different without msging you la.. without the nightly calls to biatch, to cry, to emo or just to crap....(sometimes literally??) haah but unfortunately, my dear has flown off to swizerland and i'm here, 6 hours away in Singapore.

i'm emo-ing because i miss my dear and keep worrying bout another certain someone. missing that person too....i wanna sail to the end of the world with you... but why cant you ask me that question instead... =( i don't mind even if it's from the comforts of a movie seat..... <3 *HINTS*

from the time difference, i'm guessing you're either awake already and eating your breakfast or... hmm ALREADY UP SINCE ____? XD you weirdo. but i still like ya!

AND WENNN ISNT HERE!!!! i wished i had sent her off.. blech.. end up going on some weird blind date with someone who is equally as uninterested as i am. BOO HOO. life is as such i guess... i shall quote that from my dear.

i dont wanna be into deep... but i've capsized and you took my lifejacket away.